Good afternoon and welcome,
This is Queen Elizabeth II your commentator,
Welcoming you to this big rival football match,
Between The Labour Party and The Conservative Party,
At 10 Downing Street,
And I must say the garden looks in superb condition.
Now Teresa May is ready to kick off for the Conservatives,
And the crowd is roaring and the ground is shaking,
May finally takes kick off.
May to Warman,
Warman to May,
But May is stopped in her tracks,
And who by?
The Scottish National Party leader,
Who has joined forces with the Labour Party.
Sturgeon the number 7 passes to Corbyn,
The number 10 pushes forward,
Labour have depth in this attack,
Now it’s with Sturgeon who beautifully skills off Johnson,
The crowd goes wild,
And Teresa May boots the ball in fury,
The ball has gone into Phil Hammond’s garden,
May knocks on the door,
But what’s this,
Hammond is in his football kit,
And he is slipping on his trainers,
He has the ball as well
Surely he is going to play,
He is walking out.
But what is this?
He is running to Sports Direct,
But Jeremy Corbyn catches him.
And that’s full time,
Labour 1 Conservatives nil.
I was the Queen,
And you were the viewer,